Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The baby formerly known as Flicker

Kilian was born on March 3 at a healthy 6 pounds and 10 ounces. He measured 20.5 inches in length. He seems like a miracle to me.

Not only did he miraculously fatten up to the size of a full-term baby despite being born five weeks early, but I feel that I ordered him to be born finally that night. That was the thought, at least, that I hurled through my head every couple minutes as I listened to his heart rate drop alarmingly low with each contraction. Slow and slower, it went till it seemed like his heart that typically beat 130 to 160 times a minute would only pump every second or two. I didn’t remember a heart rate that slow during the births of my other two children. I didn’t remember doctors pumping water back into my uterus to help cushion contractions for my other two children. I didn’t know if that should have been concerning or not, medically. But it was to me. And I just remember thinking, as his heart rate dropped more and more, ‘You must be born. You must be born now.’

And then he was.

Not that I knew it till the doctor informed me that he was crowning – my extremities were so pumped with the epidural that I was paralyzed for hours after he was born – because that is the way I like to roll at birth… on drugs and happy.

In fact, once Kilian decided to listen to me and just be born, the birth was remarkably easy. I might have tried to push once. But I was so relieved to hear he was coming that I laughed at the smallest, slightly humorous thing the doctors said and out Kilian came. In the end, the doctors joked that I giggled him out.

Kilian never visited the NICU and only spent one night in the warming, incubator-like baby bed before the nursery let him venture a stay to warm on my chest instead.

This method of warming preemies is called kangaroo care. It was developed by doctors in Columbia who did not have adequate resources to care for all premature babies born in their hospitals. Apparently a mother’s body will act like an incubator when a newborn is placed on it – warming as they need warmth and cooling as they get too hot. The warming allows the babies to rest faster, conserve energy for feeding and helps them regulate their breathing and heart rate.

This care has been my homework for the last couple of weeks, which will explain why I’ve answered almost no one’s emails. After getting the bigger kids to bed every night, I strap Kilian into this baby wrap and kick back. Not only does it put Kilian to sleep, but it nearly puts me in a sleep coma as well with barely enough energy to watch some tv. As a result, I’ve seen lots of parts of tv shows in the last few weeks but rarely whole episodes at a time.

(BTW I did enjoy reading everyone's comments on Facebook. Thank you for all your kind words and support. I will get to emails soon).

Kilian is a good little sleeper so far – too good, in fact. I think if we had let him, he might have slept himself to starvation. But between waking him up every two hours to eat and gulping down his aunt’s breastmilk (and her sister-in-law’s), Kilian got back up close to his birth weight last week.

I think the breast milk helped him a lot. Kilian seemed to digest it faster and wake up wanting to eat faster. On top of the very generous donations from family, we were very grateful to receive close to 300 ounces of the frozen liquid from the Mothers’ Milk Bank of Ohio. I feel like our freezer is full of liquid gold. Thank you to everyone who is helping with that.

It has been a happy couple of weeks. Up until a few days ago when I started chemo again, I considered myself on vacation from cancer. With Kilian born, I felt like my body finally recovered from that last dose of chemo back on January 24. Steve took some time off. We took the Naomi and Henry to just about every kid-oriented museum in the area to celebrate their new little brother.

I can’t wait to take the permanent vacation from this journey. Just another four or five months to go.









18 comments:

  1. Beautiful photos. What a cherished little blessing. I hadn't heard the term "Kangaroo care", but I used a similar method when the nurses tried to take my preemie to incub. Mommy knows best. Love ya girl.

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  2. Love all of it - aside from your having to get back to the cancer business. He's such a perfect little miracle. Naomi and Henry are adorable. I am anxious for you to get better so you can enjoy every minute with them.Thanks for the update and the new photos. Hope you're feeling well. XO. Love to you and the fam.

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  3. Gorgeous!! What a miracle indeed. The prayers continue, but feeling an extra dose of gratitude this morning as I read this. Love.

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  4. YAY! When I took a class in development and the NICU for my master's degree up at the UM hospital in Baltimore, we learned all about Kangaroo Care! It's amazing how it works and how comforting it is to Mommy AND baby :) I'm so thrilled for your family! I want to stop by and visit, but I am giving you some space to get back into life. I can't wait to see that sweet boy :)

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  5. He's just beautiful Kathleen!! I love all the pictures and the birth story! I hope you feel as good as you can so you can enjoy this time with him.

    I'm so happy for you!

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  6. I am going to try that next time I have a baby...giggle him/her out! I do love the fact that I share a birthday with Kilian. If the day we are born has anything to do with our personalities... he is here and strong because he is a stubborn little one, like me:) How wonderful that you have been able to enjoy time as a family doing fun things. I pray that you can endure the next 4-5 months as gracefully as you did the last 10 and that this will be the end of this chapter in your life.. no more chemo!

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  7. Oh girl, he is beautiful! In that picture where Naomi is holding him, he looks like Henry. Your kids are gorgeous, and I love them! I love you tons. The prayers are still coming your way. I love the breast milk donations -- what a gift of love. That is so amazing to me -- since pumping is like sticking a needle in my eye to me. ;) It makes me cry to know so many women did that for sweet Kilian and you.

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  8. Thanks for the update. I've been patiently waiting for the beautiful pictures you're known for--and for an update on how YOU are doing. You are really amazing. Don't forget to ask for help. There are SO many people who would love to be there for you. Good luck. You're in thousands of prayers.

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  9. Congratulations! What a wonderful blessing! He is adorable!

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  10. My word, he is absolutely gorgeous! Congratulations so much to you and your family.

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  11. Hey Kathy, Eric gave me the link to your blog and I've been stalking you since the beginning. Thank you for being open about your experiences, it's been very inspiring and I just wanted to finally say congratulations. Kilian is so beautiful, and I'm happy to hear that both of you are strong and healthy. Keep us updated, and treat us with some more pictures please! Love, Megan (the girl you introduced crab to, and who is now obsessed with eating more)

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  12. Congrats! I cant believe how big he is for being so early! What a sweet little guy already sleeping like a pro! He is absolutly beautiful!

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  13. he's gorgeous. and there is nothing like cuddling with a newborn. nothing. i'm so glad you have that kind of homework. naomi and henry look so proud, too! congratulations again.

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  14. Yeah Kilian! Way to be so big and strong. We love you so much already.

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  15. He is so beautiful and I can't believe how much older Naomi (amazing hair!) and Henry look, too! Congratulations - we are so happy for you and your family.

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  16. how sweet! I'm so glad he got here safely! And what a wonderful way to 'incubate' your baby, holding him so closely. Congatulations to all!

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  17. He looks perfect!! I have not been online in a while, so I was so surprised that it was already time! Your children are beautiful. Good job "giggling". :) Congrats!

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  18. Kathy, I've been thinking of you so much lately. I finally got your blog address from a friend to get an update. I've read for hours now. You bring me perspective. Our children are pretty similar in ages and on my hard days, I whine and complain about the chaos of it all. You, dear woman, make me sound so silly. Your strength and determination amazes me. Kilian (and Naomi and Henry) is so beautiful. This next round is going to be wicked, but you are strong. I'm praying for you!
    Cynthia Johnson

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