Friday, June 24, 2011


I finished chemo on June 3. It was a date that couldn’t come soon enough. I really didn’t want to spend any more time in a room hooked up to Taxol and my one-time friend Steroids. Decadron was supposed to help my body accept the chemo called Taxol. I’m sure it did. But Decadron, you’re such a bi###. You seem all nice at first, giving me these wonderful break-from-the-norm energy bursts. But when that energy kick runs out, you’re just left with puffiness, swollen feet and ankles, weight gain and roid rage.

Note this important equation before taking up a friendship with Steroids:

Before steroids - 1 slice of bread = 110 calories
After steroids – 1 slice of bread = 1100 calories**

**(Actual calorie numbers may vary. This estimate based on fatigue and roid rage.)

Anyhow, as I was saying, June 3 couldn’t come fast enough in my mind. I almost felt like if I could just fast-forward time, I could somehow escape the dizziness, fatigue, joint pain, hair loss and loss of feeling in my feet from chemo.

But my fast forward button broke. So I just went through the 12 weekly treatments like every other mortal.

And now I am done. DONE. I felt pretty drained after that last chemo session. My body feels and looks like some poisons had a party in it for six months. I look in the mirror and wonder who that person is. My hair grew back during the break from chemo to deliver Kilian and is now mostly gone again. But chemo is over. It is time to kick those poisons out, clean up the crap they left behind and move forward. I’m not waiting for radiation to be over to start this process. I’m reclaiming my body now.

I joined Weight Watchers. And I’m making myself exercise with whatever energy I can muster. I went to a kickboxing class at the gym on Saturday. The girl in front of me wore a pink shirt. Since pink is the symbol color for breast cancer, I focused on her shirt during every kick and punch and imagined myself kicking cancer right in the nose. I’ve heard tales from runners about a euphoric feeling they experienced after running a certain distance. I never understood that feeling before. But after that kickboxing class, I did. I felt like there was this light exploding out of me and smashing into that pink shirt.

Die cancer. Be gone Taxol and Decadron. Take your side effects and leave. You all are no longer welcome here.


  1. You never cease to amaze me. I couldn't believe how good you looked, how positive you were and how active you were in May. You rock so hard! Way to kick cancer's a**. I love you!


  2. You are such a fabulous writer. Kick boxing is one of my favorite classes, but it is hard so I am super impressed that you did it so soon after ending treatment and being zapped of energy. You are an inspiration! I also pray that taxol and decadron are never part of your life again!

  3. Way to go Kathy, sending well wishes from up North.

  4. Yay!! So happy to hear this. I have been so amazed at your strength through all of this. Your children have been blessed with a true superwoman. HUGS!!

  5. It is so good to see you back here, as it were. When you feel in your own skin enough to manage it, you really ought to find a literary agent who will help you to publish your story.

  6. Congratulations! What a fighter - you are amazing!

  7. Such wonderful news! I'm so glad to hear that chemo is over and you have taken such positive steps towards recovery. I've been thinking about you non stop! I hope the baby is doing well and that you continue to heal! I'm due in 7 weeks myself and starting to get really sore! I can't believe you went through this with cancer and chemo!! You are my hero :)

  8. I am so,so,so glad you are done! Yeah for you on reclaiming your body back from chemo and chemo related drugs. I know you will rock your recovery!